Wednesday, 11 December 2013

Types of Lust and Nearness

UPDATE: the video now includes English subtitles!

The following is a transcript of His Holiness Younus AlGohar's speech.

When you have lust and you have fits of lust, in that moment in time you feel compelled to be dragged into whichever position, into whichever direction your desires want to take you to and you do not seem to be in control. That is lust. In other words, like you are hungry, you eat and you feel content, [then] you feel full; but when you have sex and still there is no sign of fullness, there is always a burning desire to have more and more and more, and you never feel satisfied, [then] this is a disease, and this is lust.

There are two types of lust. Number one: which is permitted by God and it is a permissible allowance. Then there is another type of lust, which is prohibited. [This is] when you see any woman and you feel crazy: you have this tingling, you get carried away and then you have sexual fantasies. When you see women and they are not approachable, oftentimes you just indulge in fantasies. You just think about it and this thinking is a form of fantasy. Now, the source of permissible lust is the Nafs (Self) and the source of prohibited lust is your heart. This is because there are 30,000 layers of lust which your heart is covered with; your heart is buried under these 30,000 layers of lust and no matter how religious you are, how dedicated a worshipper you are, these 30,000 layers of lust stay there. The only time the 30,000 layers of lust are removed from the heart is when your hearyt is initiated into spirituality. Then with the power of the Spiritual Master, these 30,000 layers of lust are removed permanently. After spiritual blessings, you should not have uncontrollable desires or you should not fantasise.      

For example, it is like you live in a house and you have the keys of the house. There is a thief also and that thief has got a pair of keys to your house; when you are not there, he opens the door, gets inside the house and he knows every nook and cranny of your house.

In a similar way, the devil has the keys of your body and he runs through your blood. The problem is he is very clever; he only attacks on you in which area you are very weak. 

For example, some people are more into money than women. Some other people are more into a woman than going after money. Some people just talk about sexuality and when it comes to the practical, they do not seem to do anything, for a number of reasons. Maybe they are not physically fit to do it or maybe they are scared of God. 'If I do it, I may go to hell,' so they do not practise it, rather they fantasise about it. Some people have greed for money, some people have greed for lust, and some other people have some other defects in their character; it depends in which area that individual is very weak. Having desires, carnal desires, is not rare. If you are a man, you will definitely have desires.

Whether you are purified or not, you will still have some desires. Those who are purified, they have control over their desires and those who are impure, they do not have control over their desires. 

Spirituality is all about discipline: how to discipline yourself and how to discipline your desires. Some people will watch and go through a Playboy magazine. They enjoy looking at the beautiful bodies and faces, however they are not yet ready enough to spill over. Nafs is the sole source of physical enjoyment, physical indulgence and fantasies. You might think fantasies are thinking about something; but in spirituality, the spiritual meaning of this fantasy, the practical side of fantasy is very dangerous. For example, if you are thinking about a woman and in your imagination you are doing everything - maybe in the beginning when you started visualising somebody in front of you and through your imagination you are doing what you would do if you were allowed to physically - then the subtlety of the Nafs from your body will leave and do everything that you were fantasising about. The amount of Naar (evil energy) which you would have when you did it physically, would be more when you did it with Nafs.

Prophet Mohammad said, 'If you are going through a marketplace and you see a woman and you feel attracted and lustful, go back home, sleep with your wife and come back. The lust will go away.'

Sometimes lust is not lust. It is frustration.

Because in our culture in Pakistan and also in India, the only time women put on good clothes are when they are getting married. But in the West, they do it every day. They take care of their bodies and themselves. They wear make up in Pakistan, but they don’t know how to do it perfectly. When somebody sees his wife every day in the same clothes, the hair is not combed properly and the face is not washed, there is no Roberto Cavalli perfume on the body and it is stinking; when the husband is really horny, and the other half is kind of put off and doesn’t feel any desire, the husband gets really pissed off. He may take it to his own hands. But there is a limit, one day he will find out it’s not a hand's job. So sometimes it is frustration, it is not lust.

This is why Prophet Mohammad said, 'The woman you want to marry, she has to be beautiful.' According to Quran, do you know what God said? 'All women, the faithful ones, they should beautify themselves every day before their husbands arrive home and when their husbands arrive home, their enchanting beauty should please the heart of your husband.' But the priests in Islam twisted it. 'Don’t wear lipstick, don’t do this don’t do that'. Some Muslim women are so rigid in covering their body; they don’t show their body even to their husbands. I heard there is a place in the Arab world, especially some people in Egypt and also some Shiite, I heard somebody saying Hazrat Ali said, 'Your wife should not see you naked and you should not see your wife naked or you will become blind'. Somebody told me in America that some people in that region of the world make a hole in their outfits and this is how they sleep together; so they don’t see each other's body. What an unpleasant way of having sex. Such an unpleasant way, it’s suicidal. But this comes from the priests in Islam, not from God. God is really romantic. God said in Quran that all women should beautify themselves and when their husbands arrive home you should be so beautiful to the eyes of your husband that he appreciates your beauty. But in our culture, it’s different. If there is an occasion somewhere, somebody is getting married, our women put on good clothes and as soon as they come back home they take them off and put the stinky ones again. Maybe this is why some people find it hard to cope with the absence of simplified sex and this could be a result of frustration. There are different forms of frustration. Sometimes a man has done a 10 hours shift in his cab and has seen 100 women and he feels horny, he goes back home and wants to enjoy himself but he doesn’t get to and he gets frustrated. I’m telling you what you go through every day. A woman says it’s not important. To them what is important is to make food; 'It’s in the fridge'. Make food, take care of the kids and sleep, that’s all.

Hadith: If a husband asks his wife to sleep with him and his wife says to him, 'No I am busy worshipping God', and she doesn’t come to him, then God said the angels curse that woman all night. 

You are not letting your husband enjoy with you, rather you are in worship - but God doesn’t want it. The angels curse that woman all night. I think in other words, the job of a woman is not just to clean the house, take care of the kids and the kitchen, but more importantly it is to take care of the husband in fuller meaning of the phrase. Some of the people here do not have lust, it is frustration. Then you all know presentation is really important. The same woman without make-up and a shower will look like a cat. But if you do a little bit of Photoshop work on her, make-up and shower, she might have a little appeal. This is why some people have this problem. Maybe you do not know whether you suffer from lust, but I know who suffers from lust. If you suffer from lust you should not sit with me. One who suffers from lust he releases so many spiritual insects, you cannot breathe properly. 

Nearness is the nearness between the souls and between the hearts.

I tell you about one of the very important followers of Prophet Mohammad. At the time of Prophet Mohammad, Prophet Mohammad lived in Mecca and Medina in Saudi Arabia and there was a man called Owais. He was in Yemen. In those times, 1436 years ago, it’s less likely that Owais Qarni would have sent an email to Prophet Mohammad. Muslims don’t pay attention. Who told Prophet Mohammad about Owais Qarni? He lived in Yemen, 1436 years ago; there was no proper transportation system, no electronic communication available at that time. How did he know about Prophet Mohammad? 

He never came to see Prophet Mohammad, but he is the most blessed one, why? Prophet Mohammad’s soul went to see him and blessed his soul. 

And in the last days Prophet Mohammad sent some of his companions to him and Prophet Mohammad gave one of his shirts and said, 'Give it to him and ask him to pray for my followers.'

This was Spiritual Benevolence, a spiritual relationship between him and Prophet Mohammad. When the heart and soul is enlightened and there is a spiritual bond between the souls, then it doesn’t matter how far you are physically, you are still clung to the heart. You don’t have to be in the physical vicinity to be a loved one. You may be 100, 1,000 or 10,000 miles away, but still because of the spiritual bond you are close to the heart, close to the soul. However the spiritual bond must be established.  

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