Editor's note: the following is the first in Younus AlGohar's course on Self-Awareness, Level 2: Emotional Intelligence. For better background information, read Self-Awareness, Level 1, in the Messiah Herald.
The full lecture is available in English language on the AlRa Tv YouTube Channel. Press the play button above to watch the video.
Human psychology is very sensitive. Emotions (both positive and negative) and our reaction to different things are very complicated. Whether it is love or hatred, generosity or stinginess, holding grudges or forgiving people, it is all about emotions. Emotions play a very pivotal role in our life.
Not enough has been discussed in the spiritual circles about human behaviour and emotions. However, everything is revolving around emotions.
Emotions are, oftentimes, a set of reactions to things. Whether you are being grateful to God or you’re being thankful to your fellow men; whether you’re unhappy with yourself, with your fellow men or with God; it is all reaction.
You will see people with positive and negative reactions. Some people are more likely to exhibit positive emotions. Some others tend to be very economical with exhibiting positive emotions.
Negative emotions come from the negative source in you. Positive emotions will come from an enlightened heart and a conscious soul.
Sometimes, you will see people with only negative reactions and emotions. You’ll wonder why such people only exhibit negative emotions, and why their reaction is oftentimes more severe than expectations. This is all human psychology. Our brain is the centre point where everything is cooked.
Some people spend 16-18 years in school, college and university. They become discerning, learned individuals. They think they know everything, but that is foolish. There is so much knowledge. There is so much to know about so many things in your life, that you can never learn enough to understand everything.
Psychology on its own will tell you nothing. With just psychology, you will become a sophisticated mind with a lot of unresolved, mysterious stories in your brain.
I have noticed one thing as a spiritual person: that in every field of different types of knowledge if spirituality is not present, that knowledge is useless.
For example, psychology is the study of human behaviour, but it doesn’t tell you what it is that human behaviour depends on. It doesn’t tell you how human behaviour becomes positive and how it turns negative. Psychology is all about human behaviour but it doesn’t tell you the source; it doesn’t tell you how to manoeuvre your emotions.
Emotions are like a tennis ball that you throw at the wall and it rebounds back to you. Sometimes, somebody will say something you don’t understand; you’ll derive a desired meaning out of what they said and get angry. When you get angry, there will be an outburst of unclassified emotions.
So in that case, the action will be taking place inside your brain and the reaction will also be taking place inside your brain. You’ll be the sole creator of the mess you cooked in your mind.
What happens when somebody is not sound by mind? Oftentimes, unruffled, undisturbed peace surrounds him; even then, there is an unsolicited reaction. He’ll just be sitting in solitude and sometimes he’ll cry. Other times, he’ll smile. When you ask him what happened, he will say, ‘Nothing.’ What is it then?
You’ll be thinking about something nice and that nice thought will have a rebound. There will be a reaction: you will feel happy. This is self-acquired happiness. Then you will think of something really horrible and have all sorts of ideas. [You’ll draw conclusions based on your own estimation]. This is how you manipulate your brain.
Some people have a habit of thinking too much. If you wear a jacket every day, it will wear out very soon. If you use your tongue a lot, it will wear out one day. Then after that, anything that comes from your mouth will be nonsense. In a similar way, there is a gateway between the conscious mind and subconscious mind which is opened when you overload your brain. You won’t even know who is coming and going. Thoughts will be coming like rain from the subconscious mind. You won’t even be thinking about something, but the thoughts will be coming.
When you experience something and you think it is of less importance, then it goes into your subconscious mind. You only remember things which are in your conscious mind. However, sometimes, when you’re overloading your brain, the gateway between the subconscious and conscious mind is opened. Then you begin to remember the things stored in your subconscious. [And you become confused].
For example, something happened last week that you forgot because you thought it was of less importance. It was stored in your subconscious mind. Now, because you are [putting a lot of pressure on your mind], those thoughts are now coming into your conscious mind from the subconscious. You’re not aware of the source. You didn’t think about it, but you saw it happening somewhere.
The IQ and EQ Level
The IQ (intelligence quotient) level is all about putting every piece of information in your conscious mind. For example, you walked through a street. When you walked through the street, what did you see and did you think about it? That is what your IQ level will be judged upon.
For example, where I am sitting, there is a laptop, laptop case, bag, bottle of water, juice, glasses, phone, small fan, light and wall socket.
If you pay attention, every piece of information will go into your conscious mind. If you don’t pay attention, it will go into your subconscious mind. As result, your IQ level will go down.
It is like you have £100 in £20 and £10 notes and you only pay attention to the £20 notes because £10 notes are of less importance to you. You’ll put the £20 notes somewhere safe; you’ll put the £10 notes in your pocket and you won’t notice that they are falling out.
To improve your IQ level, when you look at something, pay attention. When you pay attention, that information will be stored in your conscious mind.
For example, you walked through a hallway and didn’t notice the glass of water on the side. If someone says, ‘There is a glass here,’ you’ll say, ‘Where? I didn’t see it.’ You saw it, but you didn’t pay attention, that is why it is not in your mind. Some people are so confused; they can see the glass, but there is no coordination between their mind and their eyes.
The IQ level is all about storing every piece of information in your conscious mind. You can ignore things, but your eyes can’t.
Your eyes are cameras. If you keep your camera on, it will keep showing pictures and images, whether or not you want to see them. In a similar way, your eyes and ears record every image and every word. Thoughts, things - anything you notice and hear - if it is done with attention, it is stored in your conscious mind and improves your IQ level.
This is what I am telling you; you won’t find it in psychology books. The IQ level, when not accompanied by the EQ (emotional quotient) level, is zero.
If you see someone beautiful and don’t show emotions, you [are not mentally sound]. If I see a beautiful woman walking, if both my IQ and EQ levels are good and I’m not religious, I must say, ‘Wow, beautiful.’ This will mean I have a healthy brain.
In order to improve your IQ level, you have to work on your EQ level. You become ill mentally when your IQ level lacks emotional intelligence. Show emotions!
If you see something and there is no reaction, you’re suppressing your soul!
For example, a room is messy and stinking, but you will see someone sleeping there because he lacks emotional intelligence. His emotional sensory system is not responding to the fact that the room is dirty. This means that there is something wrong with his emotional sensory system. He will see that somebody is handsome and beautiful, but he won’t care. This is a mental disorder.
Another scenario is if something has fallen on the ground in a restaurant kitchen. All the workers, rather than picking up the fallen object, prefer to step over it and be on their way. This is because their brains are not working properly. They become naive to everything and are not aware of the intelligence of emotions. This is why they have turned into cabbages.
If a human being doesn’t have emotions, in my eyes, there is no difference between them and a cabbage.
So the IQ level is all about the EQ level. It is about emotional discipline. When there is something that should awaken your senses, and still your senses are not awakened, then you are emotionally dead.
When your emotions are dead and your brain is not responding, you cannot obtain divine love. It is impossible.
When your senses are not even responding to tiny things like the room being dirty, it is not that you don’t care; your senses are not awakened. If something is lying on the floor and your mind is not telling you to pick it up and put it to the side, there is something wrong in your mind. This is a mental illness. Some people think, ‘Why should I do it?’ That is also a mental illness. Maybe tomorrow, you will say, ‘I need to use the toilet, but why should I do it?’
Giving Yourself Peace of Mind
You’re sitting and with a bird’s eye view, you have seen everything. Your eyes have stored all the images. Sometimes, we just see things without [hearing them]. Our eyes record those images and they go into the back of our mind, stored in the subconscious. Oftentimes, when those images reappear before our eyes, we wonder what it was. Your eyes have stored the images but you didn’t pay attention, this is why the information is incomplete. This is why your thoughts are ruffled and disturbed.
When you are somewhere, in order to have a healthy mind, you must see things with attention. If you don’t pay attention, this image which is stored in your subconscious mind will not have enough information and then it will trouble you later on.
At home, if somebody knocks on the door, I ask, ‘Who is it?’ I am not bothered about who comes and goes, but I need to know. This is because if somebody was knocking on the door but I don’t know who it was, this thought that somebody came and knocked on the door will be stored in my subconscious. It will bother me later on.
When things are incomplete and they transfer themselves from the subconscious mind onto the conscious mind, they create doubts.
Be careful: your eyes are like spy cameras. Everything is being stored. You want to make sure that everything being stored by your sensory system is not incomplete. Pay attention so that every piece of information is complete. When there is full information, your mind will be healthy. You will never be under any delusion or have any doubts.
Oftentimes, when people close to me are annoyed and irritated, I want to know why. I cannot feed my brain with incomplete knowledge. This is important for me. For example, if you leave your phone at home at 3 AM, you’re walking alone and you don’t tell anybody where you’ve gone or why, [this will disturb me]. This is the inquisitiveness of my mind. I have trained my mind not to store anything incomplete. I need to know the reason. Right or wrong, I don’t care. I’m only concerned that when this information is stored in the back of my mind, it is not incomplete.
You need to be careful. Everything is being stored. What you need to do now is, whatever is being stored should be stored along with relevant information. If the information stored in your mind is incomplete, your IQ level will go down. IQ level is judged by what you have in your conscious mind and how much your conscious mind is affected by your subconscious mind. When you know everything which is being stored, this information will never go into the subconscious mind because it is not useless. The more information is stored in your conscious mind, the more intelligent you are.
The relation between emotions and intelligence: the ability to identify something is intelligence, to react is emotions!
Some people make a mountain out of a molehill when they have pain. When somebody else has pain, they think, ‘It is none of my business.’ Such people are emotionally dead.
This is the initial introduction to the type of psychology I am imposing on you. This will go on for seven days. I bet after the completion of Self-Awareness Level 2, you will think you are a saint because you will stand on a street and you will know everything. You will know why people are doing what they are doing. This is IQ and it is accompanied by EQ level.
You cannot be an intelligent man if your emotional sensory system is dead.
If the room is stinking and you are comfortable, you are a cabbage. You are unresponsive. When you are sitting somewhere, your eyes are storing all the images and you’re not paying attention to it. You’re completely ignoring their existence. This is where your IQ level goes down.
It doesn’t take too long. Wherever you’re sitting, you can see things; just pay a little attention and complete the information.
For example, I need a glass and there is a glass nearby but because I didn’t pay attention, the image of the glass is in my subconscious mind, but the information is incomplete. Then I’ll ask someone to bring me a glass and they’ll say, ‘It is there.’ This sort of thing happens many times with so many people, but why?
We simply say, ‘They have an absent mind.’ What is absent? The mind is not absent; the information is absent in the mind.
In Self-Awareness Level 2, we will deal with IQ and EQ. Then comes higher awareness: awareness of God in you. Now we’re talking about awareness of you in you; in the third level, we will all talk about God and his presence inside you. Who is behind the scenes working in you? Level 3 will help you know who is inside you - God or the Devil - and how to detect it.
Self-Awareness Level 2 will go on for seven days. I guarantee you that after these seven days, you will have a lot more understanding of life and a lot more confidence.